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Thursday, March 25, 2010

Stress Reliever

Stress Reliever # 1

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,

"What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
______________________________ _______________________


Stress Reliever # 2

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
______________________________ _____________________


Stress Reliever # 3

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
______________________________ _______________________


Stress Reliever # 4

Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"

Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."

Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!"

Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."
______________________________ _______________________


Stress Reliever # 5

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
______________________________ _______________________


Stress Reliever # 6

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
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Stress Reliever # 7

"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.

"Terrible!" the roommate answered.

"He showed ! up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."

Wow! That's a very expensive car. What 's so bad about that?"

"He was the original owner."
______________________________ _______________________


Stress Reliever # 8

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..

"My father grows beans," said one student.

"My father cooks beans," said another.

Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."
______________________________ _______________________


Stress Reliever # 9

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: "A Billionaire" :)

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